Satisfaction Isn’t Settling
There’s something that lit in me when I came across the phrase—satisfaction isn’t settling. My senses come alive, and I feel a kind of grounded excitement within me. It challenges the assumption that being satisfied means giving up, stopping short, or losing momentum.
Most of the time, I get hit with the sensations and the feelings before the thoughts, the formulation, and the cognitive processing. So I am here feeling into this phrase and pausing- satisfaction isn’t settling.
The Drive to Achieve and the Toll It Takes
I’ve seen so many people move toward their dreams with impressive determination. I admire the drive, the work and energy, and the hope. And yet, I also witness the cost: burnout, dissatisfaction in relationships, health concerns, or a sense of disconnection from oneself. Sometimes when the goal is everything, life, purpose, agency, and overall fulfillment gets blurry. This happens when we don’t notice our ambitions and when we don’t, sometimes, we hit blocks or spiral into sabotage, worthlessness, or numbness. It’s human. But I wonder if part of what keeps us stuck is a deeper misunderstanding of satisfaction itself.
“Once I Get There, Then I’ll Be Okay…”
In therapy and reflection, I often hear echoes of the same message: “I just need to get there.” And yet, even when people do get there: land the job, reach the milestone, build the life they imagined, there can be this persistent, quiet dissatisfaction.
Why?
Sometimes the dream is built on anxiety and when we tap into the internal messages, we may here: “If I slow down, I’ll lose everything.” Or “there is no time to be satisfied, there is so much to do and I can’t give up.” This pressure isn’t always conscious, and it doesn’t come from nowhere.
Cultural Legacies, Society, and the Inherited Hustle
There’s a message so many of us absorb, often without realizing it: work hard, keep going, rest later. Whether it comes from family, school, culture, or the grind of surviving in a capitalist system—it’s deeply embedded. For me, some of that message came through the lens of my own background and family story with immigrant parents. It was rooted in survival, and I hold a lot of respect for that.
And still, I’ve noticed how survival mode can become a default way of living. One that teaches us to override our bodies, ignore our limits, and feel uneasy with rest or satisfaction.
I feel fortunate to be in a place where I can slow down and question these patterns. And I also feel the weight of that privilege, the awareness that not everyone gets to pause. That the space I have now was made possible, in part, by the sacrifices of others, and by a constant tension between what this system demands and what we actually need to feel alive.
What if what you did was good enough?
What if what you did was good enough? Not in a complacent way, but in a way that lets you breathe. When anxiety is the only engine driving us, even our accomplishments can feel hollow.
We may be told: Don’t be lazy. Keep going. Be productive. But have we ever stopped to ask: What does lazy even mean? And who taught us that being still or content is a problem?
Redefining Motivation: Beyond Fear and Survival
Not all anxiety is bad. A little pressure can help us grow and in fact having anxiety is part for our survival. But when fear is the only motivator, we risk missing out on the small joys and deep satisfaction available in the present.
Goals rooted in internal desire, not just the external, tend to feel different. They come with vitality. They feel like something we choose, not something we have to do. They invite us to enjoy the ride, not just fixate on the destination.
How Does Your Body Feel?
Not just emotionally but physically. Are you satisfied with how your body feels day to day? Does it feel strong, nourished, and rested? Or does it often feel tense, depleted, or sick, even when everything else seems “fine”? Sometimes we convince ourselves everything is okay, but our bodies tell a different story. What message is your body trying to give you right now?
Satisfaction as Internal Alignment
Satisfaction is our fulfillment of our wishes, dreams, expectations, needs, content and pleasure derived from this. To me, satisfaction feels like alignment. Like something inside landing in the right spot. It doesn’t mean I’m done growing, it means I can actually feel the impact of my efforts. And I am deeply connected with it because it is my choice to do what I am doing. I am responsible for it. It is important to feel satisfaction when working towards our goals. Our minds and bodies need feedback and this satisfaction lets our bodies know that we are okay and that it is safe to land. Without pausing, sometimes we can miss out on a sense of direction, feeling whole, alignment with our body and mind, contentment, and reflection. When we find satisfaction in the process, not just the end goal, we’re more resilient when things don’t go as planned; even if outcomes shift or fall through, the journey still holds meaning and value.
Satisfaction allows us to keep moving with curiosity and aliveness. It turns ambition into adventure. It helps us live from a place of thriving, not just surviving.
Intrinsic vs. Extrinsic Motivation
Extrinsic motivation comes from the outside, just like the word suggests. It’s driven by rewards, consequences, or social recognition. Often, it’s about achieving an outcome or avoiding something unwanted.
Intrinsic motivation, on the other hand, comes from within. It’s when you do something simply because you enjoy it or feel connected to it without needing a reward.
I came across a clear example of this in a blog post from Verywell Mind:
Extrinsic: Participating in a sport to win a medal.
Intrinsic: Playing the sport because you love the activity itself.
If you want to read more, here’s the article: What Are Intrinsic and Extrinsic Motivation?
While both types of motivation are important, feeling disconnected or unsatisfied with what you’re doing might be a signal that your intrinsic motivation is missing or hasn’t been given space to grow. Or perhaps, it is time to reevaluate your focus or goal.
Questions for Reflection: Reclaiming Your Why
Here are a few reflective questions to help you slow down, connect with your intrinsic motivation, and explore where you might find genuine satisfaction:
What if what you did was good enough?
What are you actually trying to get to?
What does achievement really mean to you?
Where did your ideas about laziness or worth come from?
What does satisfaction feel like in your body?
How does your body feel?
Is your current goal rooted more in anxiety or desire?
If you stopped chasing for a moment, what might you notice?
Steps Toward Intrinsic Motivation & Satisfaction for Meaningful Achievements
Pause and Notice
Slow down enough to notice what’s driving you. Is it fear? Joy? Obligation? Excitement? A mix if all?Honor Where You Come From
Acknowledge the cultural, familial, or societal messages that shaped your work ethic. Notice what aligns with you and what hinders you.Explore Internal Desires
Ask yourself what you want—not just what’s expected.Redefine Productivity
Consider that rest, joy, and reflection are forms of progress too. This is needed to thrive.Exploring Sustainability
Consider how your goals influence other aspects of your life: Routine, time, relationships, physical health, and energy.
Let Satisfaction In
Practice receiving the good. Celebrate small wins. Let yourself feel “enough.”Move with Curiosity
Let the process become an exploration, not just a grind. Play with your pace!
-Imuri
